I have some past experience in dynamics simulations and hair rendering/animation (in joe alter shave and a haircut). It's not expert experience but enough to know it's a very difficult thing to do.
I'm not directly familiar with Ornatrix toolset and its proprietary ox modifier and connection to massFX engine, but as far as I can tell, this combination is not going to deliver you a toolset for retaining complex hair models and performing the complex dynamics you are trying to get.
The developers of the toolset are warning to not set to high expectations on the connection with the massFX engine, which is originally a game oriented real-time dynamics simulator with some serious limitations when it comes to producing film like effects or delivering production quality results (more focused on speed not so on precision). The simulations performed by the engine are more granular.
You could compare it with trying to perform complex lighting with 1 GI bounce and few samples.
Maybe on a very simple object you could get some nice results but in a complex scene the lighting you get would be very low resolution. The same is true for dynamics simulations, you have different sampling factors involved for getting a good final result, things like time scale (amount of samples taken in-between frames) and collision radius and so on.
The more complex/dens and closer points are to each other the more precision you need.
The craziness of the hairs you are talking about is a clear indication of limitations (to low granularity of the calculations) of mass FX collision detections and precision on vast amounts of overlapping and close to each other laying points and lines.
Also as far as I can tell, the massFX engine will affect things globally and so in this case introduce problems for retaining a hair model, the only way to prevent losing the shape (in how you currently do things) is to stiffen things up globally in the dynamics parameters, but that will not deliver realistic results in general.
You need to be able to selectively control the effect (assign regions of effect) and get groups/clumps of hairs to interact, slide and have various amounts of friction and spring values and so on. The hair farm toolset provides isolated volumes via the hair meshes and thus delivers a different approach to simulating complex hair models, you need to get to a similar kind of approach in order to retain that hair model.
Maybe try it with bones/IK chains and perform the dynamics simulation on them (simplify the dynamic system to be salved, reduce it to maybe 20 IK chains)and then try to get the hairs attached to the bones via skin modifier or something like that (that is when you stick to the toolset you are using now). In this way you would at least be able to control/retain the base shapes of the hairs.
Also I think You need to use a dynamics simulation system that can deliver more precision and provide more flexibility then current mass FX engine can deliver.
In general I'm a bit afraid maybe you set to high expectations on a toolset not specifically designed to perform the tasks or deliver the results you are trying to get from it, and also maybe underestimate the complexity involved for getting the result you are trying to get.
You will definitely not solve it in 2 days.
